What Makes A Marriage Strong?
What makes a marriage strong? There are the obvious ingredients that we all know are essential like love, understanding, a sense of humour. But what does a marriage need to last a life time? What special ingredient can proof a marriage to help it rise, stay light, delicious but nutritious and filling for both the people involved?
Dominic and I have been married for exactly nine years today. He is everything I ever wanted in a husband and our marriage has brought us unbelievable joy. We have learned so much together in our nine years but for me personally, the most important discovery for helping our partnership flourish has been yoga. I truly believe it has made me a better wife. It has taught me one of the most valuable lessons of all, I am responsible for my own happiness.
My happiness has nothing to do with my husband. I am the only person that can make myself happy. Now, don’t get me wrong, Dominic brings happiness to my life every day. He is undeniably the life partner for me and because of this I do not hold him accountable for my happiness. Why would I put that burden on someone I love so deeply? Yet that is what we have been taught to do by society. What we have been taught to believe - our happiness lies outside of us. We need outside gratification to fill us up. We need to consume and reach outside of ourselves to grab onto happiness. This is not true and leads us down a very dangerous path.
When you become a couple and then parents, compromises have to be made and resentment can slowly creep up on us and suffocate our grasp on reality. We can easily start to blame the other person for our unhappiness, our discontent when actually the issue lies within ourselves.
I believe that awareness can take the pressure out of marriage. We have all heard the fairy tale ending, girl meets boy, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. They “completed” each other. This is simply not true and I am doing my best to change this narrative for my daughter. No person, no thing, no possession can ever make you truly happy. Your happiness comes from with in.
Unfortunately, this does not come easily to us and it has to be practiced consciously. This is where yoga can strengthen your awareness, your intuition, your self-confidence. It allows you to realise that you are response able. You are responsible for yourself, your actions and your happiness.
Marriage is not for everyone. It is not the holy grail that we are all lead to believe. But marriage is for me. My marriage to Dominic James Colenso brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am honoured to call him my husband and I know how truly blessed I am to have him by my side.
I love you Dom and thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me the way you do. Happy Anniversary my Darling.
Namaste.
Laura x