Becoming A Mother
MAY 31, 2015
I remember after the first month of Nell being in our lives that I just wanted to shout to every mother that I passed in the street “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Why didn’t you share how hard this was with the rest of the female race?!” I felt a secret had been kept from me. A massive, massive secret and I was not happy about it.
You have to know Nell is the most amazing thing that has happened to my husband and I. We are a team now, the three of us and every time she asks for a hug or says “bless you my mama” after I sneeze, my heart is fit to burst with the pure joy that runs through it. But I have decided not to keep the secret…. I will share the good, the bad and the ugly. Motherhood will be the toughest thing you ever do and if it isn’t, then I believe you are not doing it right.
Nearly 18 months have past and I am starting to feel a little like myself again but only a little. The old Laura is never coming back. She is long gone. The old Laura performed in the West End, danced from the age of five and always worked at least six days a week putting her career first at every opportunity. She’s gone but I’m not sad. n fact, maybe I’m slightly relieved. I have learnt a tremendous amount about myself through my darling daughter and to tell you the truth I prefer the new me. I am a lot tougher than I ever thought but with that has come more patience, empathy, understanding and softness (not just around the hips). I now have no option but to be the best I can be as I have my little one watching my every move. I’m her role model but I have also discovered that she is mine. The way Nell approaches life is inspiring. How she tackles new challenges, her creativeness, her strength and her bravery. She is the heroine that I will always look to for encouragement, strength, love and hope.
I have decided to write about motherhood as I am truly in awe of the female race now. Ladies, we are warriors!! We are simply the stronger sex, hands down. I never would have said this before having Nell but that’s another thing that happens when you create a new life, you become extremely opinionated!
Since I gave birth to Nell I have been saying I need to have some time that is mine. Not just to help me physically but also mentally. My saving grace has been yoga. I was a newbie to it through my pregnancy and it helped tremendously. I also credit it with getting me through my 33 hour labour. Now when I get the chance to grab a quick 20 mins to do it, it makes me feel like me again. The problem is grabbing those 20 mins. If you are a mum you will know what I am talking about. There is always something else more important to do than to take care of yourself. So the reason I am writing this is to declare to the world that I need change.
Tonight I am setting myself a challenge and believe me it will be a challenge: For the next 30 days I am going to find 20 minutes in my day to practice yoga. Just 20 minutes. It’s a personal challenge that I have decided to call “me time”.
I am going to share the process, my opinions, feelings and difficulties right here on my very own blog page and if you don’t mind I may ask a few questions too as I have a lot!!!!
No secrets here!
Lots of love,
Laura x