My thoughts on life & yoga…
I’m Back!
I’m back! In more ways than one… I apologise for my sudden disappearance. I started the month of June full of energy and determination and I finished it feeling I was trapped in a deep fog, swimming against the tide. It began with me struggling to get out of bed in the morning and having to nap when Nell did. Something that can happen quite easily to a mother of a toddler, so I wasn’t too concerned. But I became scarily overwhelmed. That horrible feeling, when you stare at your messy kitchen and you have no idea where to start or the thought of dealing with it makes you cry.
Creating A New Identity.
I remember the first time that I quickly dashed into a coffee shop while Nell waited outside in her buggy with my friend. A strange feeling came over me. I had this overwhelming urge to tell the person behind the counter that I didn’t normally look like this, or dress like this, or act like this, it was just that I was now a mother. I felt really uncomfortable in my own skin.
Life Skills.
I had a really interesting conversation with one of my neighbours the other day that has been playing on my mind and I thought it was quite an important thing to share – especially with those of you that are parents or people who work with children.
Why I Love Yoga.
Yoga, in a very calm and respectful way tells you that you can kick ass! It even has a position called warrior for crying out loud! Sometimes we need a little bit of gentle coaching that tells us if we just breathe and concentrate we can achieve our goal. Staying in certain yoga positions for a couple of seconds longer takes determination. And that is exactly what yoga has given me.
From Daddy.
Exactly 18 months ago today our beautiful daughter Nell Rose Colenso was born. What a roller coaster ride it has been! So, I thought today was the perfect moment to share the very, very long story of my labour… But from my amazing husband’s point of view.
Lots Of Hugs.
I had to summon all of my will power at 10pm last night to do my 20 minutes of yoga. Dom is away in London on business and it had been a tough day. Nothing terrible had happened, there was no catastrophe, it was just tough. Have you ever had one of those days where everything just seems a little bit out of control? You can’t quite get on top of things?
Surprise, surprise.
Well, I have completed the first week of my 30 day challenge and I am pleased to report that I have really enjoyed it. The best part has been the surprises and there have been a few.
More Balance Please.
“May you find balance, may you create balance, may you live in balance.” Tara Lee.
I hope you have had a perfectly balanced Saturday.
Friday Night Yoga.
Good Evening! It’s day five and I was unable to fit my 20 minutes of yoga in during the day today. So, my glass of red wine and the last episode of ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 3 had to be postponed for 20 minutes this evening so that I could squeeze it in… I don’t know about you but I think that means I deserve a second glass of wine!
Laura’s List.
Did anyone watch BBC Breakfast this morning? The actor Stephen Mangan was on promoting a new BBC Drama called “Birthday”. My ears pricked up because a few years ago, when Dom and I were young and fancy free we went to the Royal Court to watch Stephen Mangan in this play.
A Guilty Conscience.
Boom! – as my sister would say, day 2 completed. The biggest challenge of today was trying to find a space on my living room floor for my yoga mat. It looked like a hurricane had passed through. A brightly coloured, crazed hurricane. Nell’s toys were everywhere!
Day One.
Well Folks, it’s day one and I am relieved to say I did it! I was successful in finding 20 minutes of “me time” in mine and Nell’s day.
After those 20 minutes of yoga I felt like a nicer person. There is something about the awareness of my breath and body that calms me, focuses me.
Becoming A Mother
I remember after the first month of Nell being in our lives that I just wanted to shout to every mother that I passed in the street “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Why didn’t you share how hard this was with the rest of the female race?!” I felt a secret had been kept from me. A massive, massive secret and I was not happy about it.